


This War Between Heaven And Hell, It's About Pussy

by bumblefuck



Series: Fucking Blasphemy [1]
Category: Generation Kill, Supernatural
Genre: Crossover, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-10-05
Updated: 2010-10-05
Packaged: 2017-10-12 10:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/123963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bumblefuck/pseuds/bumblefuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On his search for God, Castiel arrives in Camp Mathilda.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This War Between Heaven And Hell, It's About Pussy

When Cas finds himself in the Middle East looking for God, the last thing he expects is to land smack in the middle of a Recon Marine camp. The click of thirty safeties as thirty guns are levelled at him is not a welcome sound, angelic healing powers or no.

It takes some convincing, but through the judicious application of what Dean would call his 'mojo' the Marines do come to believe he is an angel of the Lord.

"Well, shit, Brad," a small dark-haired man says laughingly, after the shadows of Castiel's wings have faded from view, "looks like your people were wrong after all – Jesus is real!" The nametag across his chest reads 'Person'. Another man, who is blond and blue-eyed and must be at least as tall as Sam, gives him a completely unimpressed look.

"Just because he can teleport from place to place and make giant wings come from nowhere doesn't mean Judaism is wrong, Ray," Brad says evenly. "When he can fix it so the idiots in command actually know what they're doing, or conjure jalapeno and cheese MRE's from the air, then maybe I'll think about changing religions."

Ray cackles at that, earning a disapproving look from some of the officers.

Castiel spends his first couple of days at the camp, which he learns is called Mathilda (but why it's been given a woman's name he cannot comprehend) wandering around waiting for the amulet to turn hot. It never does, but he learns several interesting things about the war – that it's about pussy, apparently (Castiel secretly wonders if this could be part of why Michael and Lucifer don't get along. It _has_ been centuries since either one of them got laid) – and more curse words than he's ever heard Dean or Sam use in the entire time he's known them.

He is also approached by some of the more spiritual members of the group – the chaplain asks him to speak to the men, to boost morale, but he refuses – and, on one occasion, their commanding officer, Lieutenant Nathaniel Fick.

"I'm sorry to intrude," Fick says as he crouches down next to Castiel. The angel is examining an M4 and wondering if it would be useful in combating demons. "I just wanted to know – why are you here? I mean, it's not every day that an angel appears. Especially not here." He gives Cas a wry grin.

"I am looking for God," Castiel replies, and Fick gives him an appraising look.

"Well, good luck," he says. He claps Castiel on the shoulder as he stands, and Cas isn't sure if it's encouragement or sympathy for a hopeless cause.

There is, however, some entertainment to be found in the desert. As time goes by, Castiel finds himself watching a marine called Rudy Reyes more and more. He even finds himself joining in the man's morning yoga class, with mixed results (angels, it turns out, are not that limber), and in the evenings Rudy teaches him how to take better care of his body and calls him 'brother'.

"Don't worry, man," Corporal Person says to him one day as he watches Reyes sprint around the camp, laden down with his combat gear. "It doesn't make you gay if you think Rudy's hot. We all think he's hot." He spits brown into the sand at their feet and Castiel wrinkles his nose. Dip is a habit he finds repulsive.

"As an angel of the Lord, I have no assigned gender," he tells Person, who immediately leers at him from behind his oversized sunglasses.

"So then it doesn't make _me_ gay if I find _you_ hot?" he says lasciviously, taking a step closer into Castiel's personal space. Cas doesn't step back – personal space means little to him, after all – but Person is suddenly hauled away by the collar of his MOPP suit.

"God damn it, Ray," Brad says as he drags Person over to the Humvee, "as if you weren't already a blasphemous, Whiskey Tango trailer park, NASCAR-loving retard, you have to go and try to seduce an angel? How much alcohol did your mother drink while you were in the womb?"

"But Brad," Ray whines as he struggles in the taller man's grip, "one night with me and he'll _know_ he's found God." He winks at Cas over his shoulder before they disappear behind the vehicles.

Rudy's finished his run, so Cas goes to see if he's made any more coffee, and to hear some more about this place San Francisco, where there are apparently no fat people. Castiel thinks he might look for God there next, and he wonders if Rudy might like to come.


End file.
